Let's Get Serious For A Moment

I'm sorry if what I'm about to say offends you, but I really don't like babies or the people that have them.

Recent Example Theater:

I was on a plane to Florida and I arrive at my nice comfy window seat to find a lady in it with her husband in the middle seat and she is breast feeding the baby. OK, first things first, couldn't you have breast fed that thing in the bathroom BEFORE YOU GOT ON THE PLANE!?! This is now so awkward!! So, whatever, even though I hate everything about these people and I'm kind of a bitch, I am extremely polite to strangers so I say "Oh, it's fine, I'll sit in the aisle seat". I genuinely didn't mind the seat switching. It's not that long of a flight so it's really not a big deal.

What makes it a big deal is that 20 minutes into the flight the woman decides she needs to change the kid's diaper, so she has to get out. Now, if I had been in the window seat (where I belong) this wouldn't have been an issue. But, whatever, I let her out and sit back down and wait for her to come back. So she comes back, we get out let her back in and sit back down.

This is where shit starts getting really annoying. Literally 3 minutes later, her husband decides that HE now urgently needs to go to the bathroom and makes me get up AGAIN and let him out. OK, dude, are you fucking serious?! I did you a favor by not making your wife move and now you're basically being the most annoying person on the planet. What the shit?! Couldn't you have gone back there at the same time?!

So, he comes and I let him back into his seat and then half an hour later she needs to go back to the bathroom......AAHHHHH. I'm pretty sure that I had to get up for them between 4 and 5 times during a 2.5 hour flight. Not cool, baby owners, not cool.


The real point here is that people with babies act as if you should drop your life to make everything easier for them. HELLLOOOOOO, you're the one who chose to have a baby! Do you want to know why I don't have a baby? It's because I don't want to deal with that shit, so stop forcing it upon me. Ughhhh.

Then there are the ladies at work who want to talk about nothing except babies and pregnancy. I won't even get started on them. I'll just save that for another rendition of "Things I Love to Hate".


<3 you all!
Christine

Things I Hate at Work: Being Bored and Choking

OK, so my job is ridiculously monotonous. And by monotonous, I mean it's pointless and I constantly have absolutely nothing to do. Time passes so slowly when there is absolutely nothing to do, at times it's physically painful. Plus, when I'm bored I eat and for some unknown reason, people love to bring the most fattening foods into the office and plop them right in front of my desk so I have to stare at them all day and prove to the world that I have the strongest will power. And I'm just not up for that kind of challenge, so my diet is going downhill fast. On another note, it hit 104 degrees here in New York yesterday and the air conditioning broke in our building. Sweeeeet.

I guess there are a couple positives about having nothing to do at work though - you get to practice your solitaire and minesweeper skills and search the internet for hilarious things. (I won't even get into how much I hate the website blockers at the office though. If I want to go on Facebook or search for better more stimulating jobs on Craigslist, I think I should be allowed to. It's a free country.) Also, the other good thing about it is that I get paid to play spider solitaire. However, I would like to note for the record that I get paid next to nothing, so I'm not even counting that as a positive aspect of this job. OK so in total that makes one good thing about working in a boring office with nothing to do.

To top it all off, today as I sat at my desk eating lunch, I choked on a Wheat Thin. And I mean choked - like borderline needed the Heimlich maneuver. I'm OK though, don't worry. But I mean really, boring job, just when I thought I had a moment to enjoy something about working at you (I found Wheat Thins at my desk - hello, best day ever!), you rapidly and maliciously take my one ounce of happiness away from me. It's like boring workplace karma. They don't want you to have any fun here. As my mom says, government offices are like hell with fluorescent lights. What a wise woman.

Thank God (Jesus/Buddha/whoever you want to thank for these minor life miracles) this is just a part-time, in-between-college-and-a-real-job job, because this cannot be my life for the next 50 years.

So, in conclusion...to all you music management and recording companies out there: PLEASE hire me so I can come to work and actually work and do something productive. After all of this time sitting at a desk contemplating suicide, I am especially eager to get out there and give a job I actually like all I have to give.

And, if it's a plus on the resume, I'm now insanely good at FreeCell.

Love,
Laura

OMG! Best day ever!

Hey guys,

Our bad, we've been a little bit lost for the last 2 months. I think we got a little bit discouraged by our lack of followers. But, LOOK! We have one now!

This is a huge deal!

Hi follower! Thanks for making our day! We love you! We will start posting more things that we love or hate! I promise we will.

It's 4th of July this weekend! I'm going down to the Jersey shore for the weekend. I'm originally from South Jersey, so the Jersey shore is my favesies. THIS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE SHOW JERSEY SHORE ON MTV. I hate guidos. I wish they would stop invading my beaches with their orange skin and their big hair. UGH.

Oh well, guidos and all I will enjoy the shit out of this weekend. Our plan is basically to just sit on the beach and drink all day. (I don't know if you guys can tell that I really like sitting around and drinking)

Another great thing about going to Jersey is WAWAA!!!!!!! Have you guys ever been to Wawa? It is probably my favorite thing on the entire planet. You should seek one out and go to it! You can order sandwiches to order. It's basically like heaven, just saying.

Ok, that's all loves!

Have the best weekend everrrrrr!

-Christine

I'M ON A BOAT

Guys, I leave for a cruise ON FRIDAYYYY! I am way beyond excited. I'm going with two of my friends from University of Delaware. It leaves from Miami and goes to Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Ocho Rios.

Here is my plan for the cruise.

Be drunk at all times.
Remember nothing.
Shout I'M ON A BOAT as often as possible
Make out with everyone between 18 and 35.
Don't drown.

Any suggestions for other activities?

Hi!

Sorry we haven't updated in a while. We both had weekends that were jam packed with drinking and good times.
This is the BBM that Laura sent me this Saturday at 4:18 PM:
"Yo it is fing hot out! I'm drunk weeee. Also I'm going to an organ concert for my class. Oops"

Hahahaha, she is clearly on board with my love of day-drinking and being awesome.

P.S. She studies music management, hence her class mandated organ concert. We like to drink heavily before going to important things.

This Post Will Probably Only Confuse Our Future Followers When We Eventually Have Some

So, we changed our name again.

Disregard the posts about cows, because we discarded that old name. And the one before that. But, we can honestly say that we think this one is a keeper! Also, since no one in the world has ever even read this blog we don't really need to announce this, but we like to live in two simultaneous universes.
In the first universe, we have thousands to millions of adoring fans.
In the second universe, we acknowledge that we have zero fans.

In second universe news, today I tried to google our blog and I couldn't even find it. That is especially bad because I am exceptional at googling things. I can find anything. Except our blog. Probs not a great sign. Someday maybe our dream of merging these two universes (universi?) will come true. (Or, at least we will have one follower. )

But, for the sake of the first universe, we will keep on keeping on.

<3Christine

Let's Do Some Dream Analysis

I had the most ridiculous dream on Friday night. I don't really remember the details, all I know is that I was dating one of the dudes from the Jersey Shore. Complicating the dream is the fact that I have literally never watched one second of that show. So, the dude in my dream probably didn't look anything like the ACTUAL guys from Jersey Shore, but somehow, in my dream, I knew it was.

The only detail of the dream that I clearly remember is that he had really nice abs. That's pretty much it.

I almost never remember my dreams so we should probably analyze the shit out of this one.

What do you guys think this means?!??!

<3 Christine

FOLLOW US!

OH hey guys!

Guess what we did with our time yesterday? We made a twitter account!!! Go follow us! You never know when we're going to tweet some hilarious shit!

www.twitter.com/favesies

Ok, bye guyssss!

<3 Christine

P.S. Laura was so right! We literally have no connection to cows at all. We just really liked this name. Maybe it's ironic...like we're hipsters or something.

New Title/Background

Guys, we don't even like cows.

Let's Be Besties

Guys, this is muy importante.

If you ever want to email us and tell us how great we are or you have a suggestion or even if you just want to say hi, you can do so at favesies@gmail.com.

Ok, we look forward to spending our days reading the overwhelming amount of fan mail that we will be receiving.

Kthnxbai <3

Let's Make a Deal

Be our first follower and I will send you something really awesome TBD.

Do it, you know you want to.

Day Drinking: A Love Affair.

My first foray into to day drinking was in Argentina the year after I graduated from high school and ever since the first time we met it was love at first drink. In the 7 years since then I've pretty much taken every possible opportunity to day drink. Some of my favorite events include St. Patrick's day, Homecoming, and tailgating for Phillies games but it isn't limited to these occasions, even the flimsiest of excuses can be used to justify it, which only makes me fall deeper in love.

One of the fondest memories that day drinking and I have together was first semester of my senior year. I had a midterm from 9-11 AM so my roommate, Liz, and I decided that we would start drinking directly after my midterm. Because it was not a widely accepted drinking holiday we felt a little bit odd cracking open that first beer at 11:15, but once it hit our lips, we never looked back. We drank a couple of beers at our apartment and then proceeded over to the bar across the street where we shared several pitchers, and 2 cake shots.

After that, we moved our two person party to Grotto's, a bar on Main Street in Newark which is a prime day drinking spot due to it's outdoor seating and great location. As the day wore on friends would stop by to chat or have a drink and by the time 2 PM rolled around we were well on our way to wasted (alliteration!!). We stayed there and drank for the next 6 hours with only a short field trip across the street to get some food. At 8 PM we, quite literally, stumbled out of the bar with home as our destination. On the way, we stopped by the fountain on campus for our traditional pictures in the fountain and then continued on our merry way. We arrived at our apartment and I promptly fell asleep on the floor wrapped in my comforter. Hours later we woke to knocking at our door. It was our neighbor inviting us to a party! The perfect ending to the perfect day of drinking!


Guys, I'm going to be honest, day drinking and I haven't always had a perfect relationship, far from it. We've had our ups and downs. There have been many times when the late afternoon rolled around and I was passed out in my bed (or a variety of other places) only to awake to a headache and a world of confusion. Is it the morning? How long was I sleeping? What's going on? Should I start drinking again? But, despite our imperfections, day drinking and I have only grown closer throughout the years and I hope we will have a long future together.

<3 Christine

P.S. Laura, I completely agree Re: the radio sitch. Since I bought my new car I pretty much never listen to the radio out of spite for my old car in which the ONLY option was the radio. Literally, ZERO other options. It had a tape player and one time I bought a tape thinking it would be not only hilarious and nostalgic but also an alternate form of entertainment. My dreams were then dashed against the rocks upon the realization that EVEN THE TAPE PLAYER WAS BROKEN. Being forced to listen to the radio for 3 years in my car has ruined any sense of spontaneity I might have previously felt. Now, when I listen to the radio, all I hear is sorrow and bad memories.

P.P.S. Laura, I love you, just saying.

Blog Update!

Our blog page is green. Green is our favorite color!

We bet you like green too, which is why we changed it. Thank us later.

The Radio: A Brief Review

So, I'm a big advocate for listening to the radio. Firstly, I want to work in the music industry (hire me!) and so I like to support things that will keep my job market alive. On that note, please pay for your music because if you steal it from the internet you are destroying my industry and eliminating any chance I have of actually being employed, and you don't want to do that, do you? I didn't think so.

Anyway, I also like listening to the radio because I like the spontaneity it allows me to pretend I have by letting someone else pick what music I am going to listen to. I'm crazy and impulsive WOOO! (Not really, but we can discuss that more later.) So, since I listen to the radio so much, I feel I have the right to complain about it. Here goes:


Dear Radio Stations of the World,

I get that playing songs that people like will make you a more popular station and that's cool. But, I have a bone to pick with you. Let me support my grievance with an example:

I really used to like that Lady Antebellum song. You know? The one about being a little drunk and calling someone even though you said you wouldn't. I really, really liked it, I did. But every single time I have gotten in my car for the past three weeks, it has been playing on at least one station, usually more. At first, this was good. I sang along in my car smiling and just barely paying attention to the road because, as I told you, I really liked that song.

Now, every time I hear it, I want to stab myself in the face with rusty pieces of scrap metal. You have played it too much. This is no longer enjoyable. On that note (haha, music pun), I am getting insanely sick of Hey, Soul Sister as well.

In conclusion, I am hoping that you will discover more than 10 songs to loop over and over again. It is becoming physically painful for me to listen to music. I am trying really hard to listen to you because I believe that it will help me get a job in some indirect, obscure way and I am really desperate for employment. Please help me.

Love,
Laura


Also, what is the deal with people leaving their blinkers on once they have completed their original turning/changing lanes objective?! Ohmygod, it kills a little piece of my soul every time.

OK, that's all I have to say. Bye.

P.S. - I'm actually a very optimistic and happy person. I don't hate everything even though it may come across that way every time I post something, I swear. As proof, I would like to state for the record that I really love puppies and Twizzlers.

Things we like: having a famous blog. Things we dislike: actually creating a famous blog.

I guess we should start this blog by introducing ourselves. Otherwise, you'll never know who we are and you'll never be able to facebook stalk us and make us feel famous.

Here is some basic info before we start.

Names: Christine D'Amato and Laura Marissael

How we met: Christine stalked the shit out of Laura and made her audition for her a cappella group at the University of Delaware (the D Sharps, you should probs stalk them, too because they're fucking awesome) then they fell in love over several drunken nights and a cappella rehearsals.

How hilarious are we: Soooooooo hilarious (and extremely humble)

What will this blog be about: We'll try to focus on things that we either absolutely love or things that we want to kick in the face and stomp on because we hate them so much. OR WHATEVER ELSE WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT! Just face it. You'll read what we write and you'll like it (pleaseandthankyou)

Guys, this is a great start. Now that you know what our blog is about you can start loving it and us. We'll try to update on a regular basis, but really....who knows. We are both very busy and important.

(Sorry about all the verbal abuse, we love you for reading this)

kthanksbai<3 Laura and Christine