Things I Hate at Work: Being Bored and Choking

OK, so my job is ridiculously monotonous. And by monotonous, I mean it's pointless and I constantly have absolutely nothing to do. Time passes so slowly when there is absolutely nothing to do, at times it's physically painful. Plus, when I'm bored I eat and for some unknown reason, people love to bring the most fattening foods into the office and plop them right in front of my desk so I have to stare at them all day and prove to the world that I have the strongest will power. And I'm just not up for that kind of challenge, so my diet is going downhill fast. On another note, it hit 104 degrees here in New York yesterday and the air conditioning broke in our building. Sweeeeet.

I guess there are a couple positives about having nothing to do at work though - you get to practice your solitaire and minesweeper skills and search the internet for hilarious things. (I won't even get into how much I hate the website blockers at the office though. If I want to go on Facebook or search for better more stimulating jobs on Craigslist, I think I should be allowed to. It's a free country.) Also, the other good thing about it is that I get paid to play spider solitaire. However, I would like to note for the record that I get paid next to nothing, so I'm not even counting that as a positive aspect of this job. OK so in total that makes one good thing about working in a boring office with nothing to do.

To top it all off, today as I sat at my desk eating lunch, I choked on a Wheat Thin. And I mean choked - like borderline needed the Heimlich maneuver. I'm OK though, don't worry. But I mean really, boring job, just when I thought I had a moment to enjoy something about working at you (I found Wheat Thins at my desk - hello, best day ever!), you rapidly and maliciously take my one ounce of happiness away from me. It's like boring workplace karma. They don't want you to have any fun here. As my mom says, government offices are like hell with fluorescent lights. What a wise woman.

Thank God (Jesus/Buddha/whoever you want to thank for these minor life miracles) this is just a part-time, in-between-college-and-a-real-job job, because this cannot be my life for the next 50 years.

So, in conclusion...to all you music management and recording companies out there: PLEASE hire me so I can come to work and actually work and do something productive. After all of this time sitting at a desk contemplating suicide, I am especially eager to get out there and give a job I actually like all I have to give.

And, if it's a plus on the resume, I'm now insanely good at FreeCell.

Love,
Laura