Let's Get Serious For A Moment

I'm sorry if what I'm about to say offends you, but I really don't like babies or the people that have them.

Recent Example Theater:

I was on a plane to Florida and I arrive at my nice comfy window seat to find a lady in it with her husband in the middle seat and she is breast feeding the baby. OK, first things first, couldn't you have breast fed that thing in the bathroom BEFORE YOU GOT ON THE PLANE!?! This is now so awkward!! So, whatever, even though I hate everything about these people and I'm kind of a bitch, I am extremely polite to strangers so I say "Oh, it's fine, I'll sit in the aisle seat". I genuinely didn't mind the seat switching. It's not that long of a flight so it's really not a big deal.

What makes it a big deal is that 20 minutes into the flight the woman decides she needs to change the kid's diaper, so she has to get out. Now, if I had been in the window seat (where I belong) this wouldn't have been an issue. But, whatever, I let her out and sit back down and wait for her to come back. So she comes back, we get out let her back in and sit back down.

This is where shit starts getting really annoying. Literally 3 minutes later, her husband decides that HE now urgently needs to go to the bathroom and makes me get up AGAIN and let him out. OK, dude, are you fucking serious?! I did you a favor by not making your wife move and now you're basically being the most annoying person on the planet. What the shit?! Couldn't you have gone back there at the same time?!

So, he comes and I let him back into his seat and then half an hour later she needs to go back to the bathroom......AAHHHHH. I'm pretty sure that I had to get up for them between 4 and 5 times during a 2.5 hour flight. Not cool, baby owners, not cool.


The real point here is that people with babies act as if you should drop your life to make everything easier for them. HELLLOOOOOO, you're the one who chose to have a baby! Do you want to know why I don't have a baby? It's because I don't want to deal with that shit, so stop forcing it upon me. Ughhhh.

Then there are the ladies at work who want to talk about nothing except babies and pregnancy. I won't even get started on them. I'll just save that for another rendition of "Things I Love to Hate".


<3 you all!
Christine

Things I Hate at Work: Being Bored and Choking

OK, so my job is ridiculously monotonous. And by monotonous, I mean it's pointless and I constantly have absolutely nothing to do. Time passes so slowly when there is absolutely nothing to do, at times it's physically painful. Plus, when I'm bored I eat and for some unknown reason, people love to bring the most fattening foods into the office and plop them right in front of my desk so I have to stare at them all day and prove to the world that I have the strongest will power. And I'm just not up for that kind of challenge, so my diet is going downhill fast. On another note, it hit 104 degrees here in New York yesterday and the air conditioning broke in our building. Sweeeeet.

I guess there are a couple positives about having nothing to do at work though - you get to practice your solitaire and minesweeper skills and search the internet for hilarious things. (I won't even get into how much I hate the website blockers at the office though. If I want to go on Facebook or search for better more stimulating jobs on Craigslist, I think I should be allowed to. It's a free country.) Also, the other good thing about it is that I get paid to play spider solitaire. However, I would like to note for the record that I get paid next to nothing, so I'm not even counting that as a positive aspect of this job. OK so in total that makes one good thing about working in a boring office with nothing to do.

To top it all off, today as I sat at my desk eating lunch, I choked on a Wheat Thin. And I mean choked - like borderline needed the Heimlich maneuver. I'm OK though, don't worry. But I mean really, boring job, just when I thought I had a moment to enjoy something about working at you (I found Wheat Thins at my desk - hello, best day ever!), you rapidly and maliciously take my one ounce of happiness away from me. It's like boring workplace karma. They don't want you to have any fun here. As my mom says, government offices are like hell with fluorescent lights. What a wise woman.

Thank God (Jesus/Buddha/whoever you want to thank for these minor life miracles) this is just a part-time, in-between-college-and-a-real-job job, because this cannot be my life for the next 50 years.

So, in conclusion...to all you music management and recording companies out there: PLEASE hire me so I can come to work and actually work and do something productive. After all of this time sitting at a desk contemplating suicide, I am especially eager to get out there and give a job I actually like all I have to give.

And, if it's a plus on the resume, I'm now insanely good at FreeCell.

Love,
Laura

OMG! Best day ever!

Hey guys,

Our bad, we've been a little bit lost for the last 2 months. I think we got a little bit discouraged by our lack of followers. But, LOOK! We have one now!

This is a huge deal!

Hi follower! Thanks for making our day! We love you! We will start posting more things that we love or hate! I promise we will.

It's 4th of July this weekend! I'm going down to the Jersey shore for the weekend. I'm originally from South Jersey, so the Jersey shore is my favesies. THIS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE SHOW JERSEY SHORE ON MTV. I hate guidos. I wish they would stop invading my beaches with their orange skin and their big hair. UGH.

Oh well, guidos and all I will enjoy the shit out of this weekend. Our plan is basically to just sit on the beach and drink all day. (I don't know if you guys can tell that I really like sitting around and drinking)

Another great thing about going to Jersey is WAWAA!!!!!!! Have you guys ever been to Wawa? It is probably my favorite thing on the entire planet. You should seek one out and go to it! You can order sandwiches to order. It's basically like heaven, just saying.

Ok, that's all loves!

Have the best weekend everrrrrr!

-Christine

I'M ON A BOAT

Guys, I leave for a cruise ON FRIDAYYYY! I am way beyond excited. I'm going with two of my friends from University of Delaware. It leaves from Miami and goes to Cozumel, Grand Cayman, and Ocho Rios.

Here is my plan for the cruise.

Be drunk at all times.
Remember nothing.
Shout I'M ON A BOAT as often as possible
Make out with everyone between 18 and 35.
Don't drown.

Any suggestions for other activities?

Hi!

Sorry we haven't updated in a while. We both had weekends that were jam packed with drinking and good times.
This is the BBM that Laura sent me this Saturday at 4:18 PM:
"Yo it is fing hot out! I'm drunk weeee. Also I'm going to an organ concert for my class. Oops"

Hahahaha, she is clearly on board with my love of day-drinking and being awesome.

P.S. She studies music management, hence her class mandated organ concert. We like to drink heavily before going to important things.

This Post Will Probably Only Confuse Our Future Followers When We Eventually Have Some

So, we changed our name again.

Disregard the posts about cows, because we discarded that old name. And the one before that. But, we can honestly say that we think this one is a keeper! Also, since no one in the world has ever even read this blog we don't really need to announce this, but we like to live in two simultaneous universes.
In the first universe, we have thousands to millions of adoring fans.
In the second universe, we acknowledge that we have zero fans.

In second universe news, today I tried to google our blog and I couldn't even find it. That is especially bad because I am exceptional at googling things. I can find anything. Except our blog. Probs not a great sign. Someday maybe our dream of merging these two universes (universi?) will come true. (Or, at least we will have one follower. )

But, for the sake of the first universe, we will keep on keeping on.

<3Christine

Let's Do Some Dream Analysis

I had the most ridiculous dream on Friday night. I don't really remember the details, all I know is that I was dating one of the dudes from the Jersey Shore. Complicating the dream is the fact that I have literally never watched one second of that show. So, the dude in my dream probably didn't look anything like the ACTUAL guys from Jersey Shore, but somehow, in my dream, I knew it was.

The only detail of the dream that I clearly remember is that he had really nice abs. That's pretty much it.

I almost never remember my dreams so we should probably analyze the shit out of this one.

What do you guys think this means?!??!

<3 Christine